Disclaimer: This is not a love poem.
I don’t like people:
They’re loud, offensive, and selfish,
Presumptuous, smelly and boring,
I’ve spent my life ticking off little checkboxes of bad qualities
In every man or woman that I meet;
But this guy, was an exception.
Like Noah, bedazzled, when he saw the rainbow
Of God’s everlasting covenant in the sky,
After forty days and forty nights of rain,
I too, was bedazzled.
After meeting fool after idiot after con man
After moron after moron after moron,
I met HIM! You cannot blame me, for being
Around him, I stereotypically transformed
Into a mass of nerves, a collection of crazy, stupid pick up lines
That kept threatening to rush out.
‘Do you have a band aid? I scraped my knee when I fell for you.’
‘Could I borrow a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.’
‘Is there an airport around here, or was that just my heart taking off?’
‘Excuse me, Sir, but are you lost? Because Heaven is a long, long way from here.’
I had never met somebody who had read Lemony Snicket’s
Series of Unfortunate Events with more dedication, than I had.
Someone who could quote Shelley and Eliot as fluently as I could.
Someone whose favorite line from The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Just HAPPENED to be the same as mine.
But most of all, I had never met someone for whom I wouldn’t have to be,
Consistently, continuously lying to myself, making up unrealities,
Someone who was more flesh and blood,
Than cigarette smoke and aqua perfume,
And who despite being SO human, was still SO perfect.
I had loved and lost before, we all have.
I knew what it was to have a bullet shot into your wing when you flying, so high,
To slip in the dark, and not know when the abyss that you are falling through ends,
To be given everything you ever wanted, and then losing it-
I knew all that, I could deal with all that,
I’d done it before.
Because when the Coca Cola fizz starts to die out,
And you start facing hard headed reality,
You know it’s not going to last! Because nothing lasts,
And sooner or later you will trip up on that one thing that you ALWAYS knew was between the two of you, but which you NEVER accepted,
And it’s not going to last, because nothing lasts
Nothing lasts nothing lasts nothing lasts THIS is what you will keep repeating to yourself, all day, every day,
Every time you are happy, you will not let yourself be happy,
Because this happiness?
It’s not going to last.
How..stupid we are.
How unnecessarily cruel to ourselves.
And for the first time, I asked myself, does this make sense?
It’s not going to last, I know it COULDN’T last,
But because of that, and a weird combination,
Of déjà vu, and premonition,
Why do I suffer now, for what will happen later?
Sure, you’re going to fall, but you’re running free now.
You’re soaring, mid flight, DON’T THINK ABOUT THE CRASH,
That’s in the future!
Give yourself the present.
Give yourself this gift.
Carpe Diem, darling, and tomorrow-
Tomorrow will be another long, tiring day.